I don't really know what happened today. I thought I was having a good day when it started. I took Payton to school and hit the grocery store. I even fixed my bed hair before I headed out. I went back home and headed to bed for another hour or so. When Dan and I got up, we did some work around the house and we had lunch. Then we watched a couple episodes of House on DVD.
Once I took Dan to work, my mood just started falling. I don't even know why. I mean, I KNOW why, I have major depression and all that . . . but I don't understand what triggered it. I spent the evening with the kids either crying, or trying not to cry. By the time I went to pick up Dan, I was a complete wreck. I stopped at McDonald's for a couple McDoubles, knowing that this was a bad idea health wise and a bad idea financially. I just felt so hopeless that I couldn't see why it would matter.
Then Dan and I stayed up later than we should have to watch a couple more episodes of House. A little snuggling on the couch and watching fake people's problems helped some. At least I didn't cry myself to sleep.
Knowing now that depression is an official disability according to the American's with Disabilities Act, I think I'll see if it is possible for me to get a medical card along with the kids. Maybe then I could start seeing a doctor again and a therapist. Surely there is something that can help me break this cycle.
No comments:
Post a Comment