6:40am Up and at 'em! Got Dan out of bed for a day of overtime and rolled Payton out of bed for school. Payton got Livi up as I was eating my oatmeal.
7:10am. Off we go! Dropped Dan off at work eight minutes early :( and got Payton to school right on time. :) Livi and I headed home.
7:45am. Livi and I made it home and I checked the mail on the way in. I got a couple of interesting things in the mail. I received a hand written thank you and welcome card from Pastor Matt at Eastlake Community Church. He also included a $5 Dillon's card which allowed me to buy some more cough syrup to get me through the day after taking my last dose earlier. Nice timing. :) The second packet I received was also from Eastlake. The letter explained that this package was in response to the connect card that I filled out during the service. I had mentioned that I was considering rededicating my life to God. In order to support that decision, they included a booklet called "What on Earth Am I Here For?
" by Rick Warren. It's based on his book, The Purpose Driven Life. Also included was a copy of the New Testament in New Living Translation and a mention that I was more than welcome to pick up a complete bible at the info table next Sunday if I should choose to return. I was pretty impressed with the amount of support that they sent my way after one visit.I went ahead and read the booklet as it was only 59 pages. It was broken down into 7 parts complete with "points to ponder" and "questions to consider." Roughly, it explained that God made us to love him and that we are here to glorify him. It says that we will never find our purpose in life if we are looking at what we want rather than what God wants. The last section gives a brief overview of how to find God's purpose for you. The concepts aren't hard to grasp, but I'm not sure where I stand with it. It did, however, get me to thinking that I might check out the website or that it could be worth reading the full book to see where it goes. I know that Brandon and Meagan from my Deep Thoughts group have read it in their last growth group and I'm guessing that Brandon's wife, Heather, and Meagan's husband, Cody, have also read it. I would be interested in talking to people who have read the book and possibly reading it myself. There are a couple of concepts that I disagreed with that might be resolved with the full version.
"Measured against eternity, your time on earth is just a blink of an eye, but the consequences of it will last forever."(pg 33) I guess I just have trouble with the idea that if I don't do a great job during this 100 years, I am going to have to pay for it for the next million years? I can't believe that there is still not room to grow in the next million years or so.
"Most people fail to realize that money is both a test and a trust from God. God uses finances to teach us to trust him, and for many people, money is the greatest test of all. God watches how we use money to test how trustworthy we are. Jesus said, "If you are untrustworthy about worldly wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven?" Wow. This must be based on the idea that God actually places value on money. I would think that my kids, husband, family and friends are my worldly wealth. I mean, really? Why would God use money as a test? I mean, sure, if I can't handle my money, I don't end up with more, right? But to think that I won't earn anything more valuable than money if I don't handle mine right implies that God would never have given me the blessing of helping to raise five children since I've always been broke.
These seem like pretty major concepts and I'm not sure I can read a whole book based on what I feel are such faulty ideas. The book starts with the idea that life is not about me, it's about God. Sure, I can agree with that idea. It's very humbling and it's probably right. But it still doesn't sit well with me. Probably because I'm too selfish to handle it, which, in turn, suggested to me that I should probably read the rest of this book. :) These other two ideas just don't work for me at all. I don't feel that they are accurate or relevant representations of what God would want or expect from me. Of course, since He doesn't speak to me in a way that I easily recognize, I could be wrong. I'd love to hear any thoughts from anyone who might have read the book.
9:30am I finished reading the mail and that booklet and I jotted down my notes. Time to start preparing for the rest of my day. I grabbed my Dillon's card, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, my notepad of thoughts and things to do, a blank note pad, pens, my spare cash and my baby.
10:30am, I finally headed out the door. Livi and I went to Dillon's and I picked up a cheap bottle of cough syrup. Then we headed for the bakery so Livi could "read" the book with the pictures of cakes. We probably spent ten minutes flipping through the cake book before Livi decided she would like a donut. There was still enough on the card for that so we headed up to pay and then we were off to Deerfield for my volunteer time. I sort all of the take-home papers for Payton's class and put them into large manilla envelopes for each child. While I do this, Livi visits Payton's math teacher, Mr. Corcoran, who lets her play with his math tools, stacking blocks, beans for counting, geometric shapes cut our of wood, lots of fun toys for a three year old. :) There weren't many papers today so I was done early, but I let Livi play for another ten minutes or so before we left to hit our next objective.
11:45am I only had six dollars for lunch so we went to McDonald's. Livi got a Happy Meal in a Halloween bucket and I got a McDouble and apple dippers. A horrible meal and another reason I need to plan ahead for Thursdays. Maybe next time I could pack some sandwiches and we could eat at a park.
12:40pm Livi and I left McDonald's and went to the Lawrence Arts Center for school. As we headed for her classroom, Olivia said, "You don't need to go in with me, Mom." So I stood where I could see the doorway and let her go on her own, making sure that her teacher knew she was there before I left. It's kind of fun to have such a crazy independent little thing sometimes. It sure beats the separation anxiety that my friend, Amanda, whose son is in the other class is going through.
For the next hour, I drove to all of the thrift stores I could find, looking for tap shoes. I also called all the studios I could find and hit the dance clothing store. No used tap shoes for little monsters. I drove home and found Livi's light up Airwalks. They are flat bottomed at at least make a little noise when she hits her feet on the floor.
2:30pm Drove to the school and parked outside to wait for Payton. If I get to the school on time, I have to park in line and keep moving forward until my kid shows up, then we continue to wait in line until we can get out. If I show up ten minutes early, I have about 15 - 20 minutes of uninterrupted time to read. :) Today, I learned about my circle of concerns. This includes everything I worry about; family, money, weather, pollution, global warming, war, the elections, the car, my ex, Dan's ex, etc. Within this circle is my Circle of Influence. My Circle on Influence includes all of my concerns that I can actually impact. When we are reactive to those things that are concerns that we cannot influence, those things that are beyond our control, we are creating negative energy. We can't accomplish anything because we are focused on things that we cannot affect, therefore limiting even more the circle of things that we can change. We become more reactive and our sense of self worth diminishes as we see that we are not productive or effective. As we focus on our circle of influence, we will begin to create a positive energy. We will create and see change. This will increase our sense of self worth as well as providing an example for those around us. It all starts with the simple idea that we should never pass up the opportunity to make a choice.
3:05pm Payton arrives at the car. :) He quickly puts on his favorite radio station as we talk about his day and head for the LAC. I got to the parking garage about 20 minutes early so I sat and enjoyed another 10 minutes with Payton before I headed in. This is why I love taking Payton to school and picking him up. We have some one-on-one without any conflicts to deal with. Just hangin' out together. I'll enjoy it as long as it lasts! :)
3:20pm I head in and find a chair. There are chairs lined up in the hallway for us to wait. The door is closed so I know class isn't over and Livi won't want to go until almost everyone else is gone anyway. :) Lisa is the next mom to arrive and we chat about the kids, and the Halloween party we are helping to plan for our 6th graders. I think I'll go to Checkers tomorrow and see what size of pumpkins they have so cheap and see if they are the size we were wanting. Shaake's pumpkins will be 75 cents each for softball size. I should probably call Pendleton's and see what they would charge. It's nice that I seem to have found another mom that has enough of the same things going on that we can build on it. :) That's not as easy for me as it seems like it should be. I'm workin' on it.
3:40pm Head back to the house, dropped Payton off to work on his homework and headed over to Lia's to pick up Livi's friend for dance class. Lia and I chatted for a while before Kris and Moira got home. This was the first time Lia and I had met face-to-face and it was nice. She has a day care but she will be shutting it down soon. I suggested PartyLite as an alternative that would allow for flexible scheduling. She said she doesn't have a car to drive. That's going to make any kind of employment a little tricky. Lia's sister has PCOS and Lia has some of the symptoms. She said she knew that it runs in families and we talked about it for a while. I need to learn more so I can help people more. It's frustrating to me. So many women need help dealing with this and nobody can figure out what to do. :( I've got some ideas . . .
4:50pm I got the girls to dance class about five minutes late. I didn't realize how long it would take to drive down 23rd street at this time of day. :) I'll do better next time. Miss Cathy took almost an hour with the girls today. They were really paying attention well and not getting too antsy. Livi was showing off a little for having someone else there, but not bad. I guess DancE Hues is having a recital on December 18th and Miss Cathy would like to have the girls in it. I'm so excited! :) I'm going to have to break down and just buy the dumb tap shoes new. Maybe I'll have better luck finding someone else who needs some when she grows out of them.
5:45pm I called Aaron as I was leaving the studio to let him know that we will not be meeting at six and it will be about 6:30 before I can get there since we got some free dance lessons today. He's already waiting at the McDonald's. :( I dropped off Moira, picked up Payton and headed for DeSoto.
6:30pm. Aaron, Payton, Livi and I had a good time at McDonald's. Livi and I ate the same horrible food we had earlier. It's not as yummy to me as it used to be. I think that's a good sign. :) It's fun to watch Aaron with Livi. They seem to soak each other up. It's not what I would have expected as a reaction from him, but it's super cute. We talked about what processed foods we should dress up as to get $2 burritos at Chipotle.
7:30pm. Payton and Aaron headed off to KC and Livi and I headed home. We both took some more cough syrup and I finished up the dishes from this morning. I grabbed the cribbage board and we headed off to see Dan. Dan called me on the ride over to let me know it was my turn to call Ash. I talked to Ash about 15 minutes. She said that they watched a movie called, "Life as we know it." I had never heard of it, but she said it was really funny but it also made her cry. She thought we should watch it because we would really like it. She said they also watched "Easy A." Not my personal choice of a great movie for a 12 year old. She said it wasn't very funny so we shouldn't watch it. We talked about her goddess costume for Halloween and then it was after eight so I had to let her get ready for bed.
8:05pm I arrived at the house with a baby passed out in the car seat. Dan carried her in for me and then we played some cribbage. Dan did get his Thanksgiving time off approved and there is going to be a new couple soon. The man is going to work in the house and the woman will only do paperwork. And this just pissed me off all over again. I will call legal services and the EEOC and do all that I can to resolve how I was treated and then I can let this go. It feels childish to say this was unfair, but I can't see the situation any other way. I just want to get past it. Dan reminded me that forgiveness is an action, not a feeling. I don't even know who I would need to forgive. That's really just an excuse, I suppose. I don't really want to forgive anyone just yet. I will get there. It just might take me a bit longer.
11:20pm. Livi woke up when we got home and stayed up long enough to watch a little cartoonage. Once Dan found the remote, she watched the last 15 minutes of an Avatar: The Last Airbender
episode. It was a great episode where Aang throws a dance party for kids in the Fire nation. Then she went to bed and so did momma and daddy. It was a long day. It was a good day too though.
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