Today was a great day.
I started my day out right by going to the gym with Mary. It's free and we buddied up so we have no excuses. It did cost us a quarter a piece for the parking meter, but that's a darned cheap workout! First we did cardio. I was on an eliptical and she was on a bike. I went 15 minutes with a three minute cool down and even went backwards for a minute in the middle. Paul, the trainer I used to work with, would be proud. He'd also be disappointed that I was so out of shape that I could only do 15 minutes, but it will take a bit to get back into things. As Dan said, the hardest step is just to get there. The rest will be easier. Then we went to the weight room for some leg work and there was a really nice guy in there who showed us how to use the equipment. I didn't know they had that. I was afraid to go because I wouldn't know what I was doing and I totally wouldn't have gone if it were not for Mary. After the weight room, we walked laps in the gym for another 45 minutes, I think. It was nice to have someone to do it with. We talked as much as we could while still doing our thing and it was actually pretty fun. I'm already looking forward to Friday!
After I got home, I took a shower and fixed my hair for the first time in a long time. God didn't mess up when He made me and I have decided to start showing that I appreciate that! I got a few things done online and did some research on cake decorating classes. I found that they have them at Michael's but I couldn't find any costs or schedules so I'll have to call the store and see what is available. I'm really starting to get excited about this. I know that it is something that I love to do and if I can do it to add even a tiny bit of income, totally on my own schedule, that would be perfect. I guess it just took a few angels showing me that it wasn't too late to hope. :) Thank God for them. :)
We had a sundried tomato pizza for lunch and then we watched Raising Hope on hulu once Payton was out of school. I really enjoy the early out days, even if it does cut into my more "productive" time. Although, what's really more productive than quality time with the family?
After I took Dan to work, I played a little WoW and then started dinner prep. I also chopped four green peppers and two red peppers and froze them. They are now safely ensconced in freezer bags, waiting for me to release them at my whim. Monday, I cooked up the meat. Today was peppers. Tomorrow being Thursday means that very little will be accomplished, although I guess I'll have evening time since Livi doesn't have dance class anymore. I need to find some more kids her age that want a great dance class at a low price. You wouldn't think it would be so hard to find. . . Anyway, I need to figure out what type of pre-cooking I can do on Friday or Saturday to keep this prep-ball rolling. We haven't eaten out all week, except for the Wednesday afternoon snack tradition, and I feel like we are making progress.
I'm not getting much unpacking done, but we are eating home cooked foods-if not totally home-made, and my sink is shiny! I wonder if I can find someone who would like a free cake in trade for some hands on training on setting up an apartment? Something to think about . . .
The kids and I had supper and then played some Little Big Planet together. It's great that we have games that I can play, Payton enjoys and Livi can play too. I ended up running a smidge late for my Made to Crave group tonight, but I think it was a worthy cause. lol
I cannot say enough how glad I am that God used the leader and the host to get me into the right growth group on Wednesday nights! I already knew one lady, and I've made two new friends. I am praying that our final member will recover quickly and be able to join us next week. It's a small intimate group and I feel like I can be totally honest. It's still a little scary to open up that much, but we all seem to be so connected and we are all working towards the same goals that it's been pretty amazing.
Both of my groups this week talked about Eve. Both groups touched on how Eve was tempted by Satan through food. She was spoiled beyond all imagining, yet she wanted more. I'm not quite so spoiled as that, so I suppose it's only logical that I might be tempted by the vast majority of things in the world that I do not possess. Honestly, after this past couple of months and our stint among the statistics as the homeless population, I don't care about any of our stuff the way I used to. A place to live, yes, the minor stuff seems much more minor than it ever has before.
But back to Eve and food. Well, I'm done with Eve for now, so back to food! :) Lysa TerKeurst asked a question that seems almost silly in the asking because you KNOW what the right answer is. It's not silly because that was NOT the honest answer for me. "Is it possible that we love and rely on food more than we love and rely on God?" Wow. She said that she realized that she craved food more than she craved God. That she turned to food for solace and reward. It was her comfort and joy. It was what she wanted when she was stressed, sad and even happy. And she totally nailed me on that one.
I can't think of a time, before maybe yesterday, that I said, "Man, I am so stressed! I need to pray!" Oh, no. It was the ice cream calling, or lately, the donuts. Even my creamy coffee goodness. My relationship with food is totally out of whack, but my relationship with God? I used to say that we weren't on speaking terms. Which means that I wasn't talking to or listening to Him. Obviously He's been biding His time because when I finally began to wonder if I should be listening to Him, the floodgates of support have opened up. I am finally starting to understand what Pastor Matt means when he says that God is "passionately pursuing" me. I mean, I guess if you gotta have a stalker . . . right? :)
So my biggest scariest thought from today that I've already prayed about and will surely pray some more is that:
If I am using food as my own reward and for comfort rather than turning to God all the time, what am I teaching my kids? We can have candy or donuts if we are good. We can go to Dairy Queen together as a family function. We can need sugar on a rough day and an expensive dinner when something good happens. Woah!
Dear God, help me save my kids from my own fate that I have been willfully dragging them into with me. As you help me learn to love you more than I love my comfort foods, help my kids to learn this too. Amen.
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