Day 309: PCOS and inflammation

Polycystolic Ovary Syndrome is, among other things, an inflammatory disease.  Every cell in your body is irritated, and not just figuratively!  This causes pain and annoyance as well as making us an easy target for other types of inflammation.  I've been chatting with a lot of ladies lately who are suffering from the pain and other effects of the inflammation and would like to share some of the information that I have learned in hopes that some of it may help you.  Remember, just as each of us has our own different mix of symptoms, what remedy is fabulous for me, may not work as well for you and vice versa.  These are a few great places to start and there are no negative side effects in trying them out.

One important thing to understand about food is that everything you eat will either be alkaline or acid once it is digested.  Acid foods will increase inflammation and alkaline foods will decrease inflammation.  All meats and dairy products are acids.  The key is not to remove ALL of the acid foods, but to focus primarily on alkaline foods.  It is recommended to eat 70-80% alkaline foods.  Red meats seem to be higher in acid than white meats, which somehow, didn't really surprise me.  I got this info from my chiropractor, Dr. Risley, who got it from a peer who works a lot with nutrition as medicine.  Alkaline/Acid Food List  Another grain that I like a lot is quinoa (pronounced KEEN-wah).  You can use it like rice and cook it the same way, it just takes a bit longer.  It has all eight of the essential aminos, so it is one of the few plants that contains complete protein.  It's kind of a protein-carb combo and who doesn't love that idea?  :)  It seems to be confusing to folks whether it is alkaline or acid.  I've seen it listed both ways. It breaks down to amino acids though, so if it's acid, seems like it's good acid?  The point is, I am not an expert on this, I'm still learning.  Do some research and see how you can make some changes that could reduce inflammation in a way that is cheap and you can live with.  Reduced inflammation usually means reduced pain.  It won't cure anything, that I know of, but it could be a great help.

If you are looking into supplements, magnesium and fish oil are both anti-inflammatory.  It's hard to find solid info on what dosage might be recommended so do your own research or experiment and see what works.  Always start with a moderate dosage and build up if you need to rather than starting high and working down.  Too much magnesium will lead to loose stools, so it's pretty easy to know when you're hit your max dosage.

You always want to have a reliable source when you're buying supplements.  Certain supplements, such as fish oil, can turn rancid if they are allowed to reach high temperatures, negating their nutritional value.  Swansonvitamins.com and Vitacost.com are two sites that have been recommended to me by healthcare professionals.  I have used Swanson and they were prompt and fairly cheap.

Hopefully this info might give you a place to start in your own research or recovery.  Best of luck!

Day 308: Reshape Report

Today was the third Monday of the new health program that Dan and I started.  Two weeks ago, we did sit ups, squats and push ups for two minutes each.  Today, we retested.  Our results were very promising!

There are three levels to each exercise.  For example, you can do regular push ups-advanced, push ups on your knees-intermediate, or just leave your tummy on the ground and lift your shoulders with your arms-baby ups.  I counted beginner exercises as .33 of an exercise, intermediates as .67 and advanced as 1.  Here are the results.

Dan    Push ups 15.96 to 27.04.  Sit ups 22.02 to 29.  Squats 32.04 to 45.
Eeka   Push ups  9.9 to 16.33.  Sit ups 11.6 to 29.  Squats 28.71 to 44.

HOW AWESOME IS THAT??!  I was a little worried about doing our weigh in today.  We both had obviously gotten stronger and I psyched myself up for a weight gain because muscle weighs more than fat.

Dan was a little disappointed in his weight because he was at 307.6 and was really hoping to hit 300 this week.  He dropped down to 307 even.  Half a pound was better than an increase, but he was a little bummed.  You can totally see the change in his shape though, already.  He doesn't stay bummed for long and he's already trying to figure out how to fit trips to the weight room into the schedule.

I was at 255 last week.  I was hoping to be under 250 this week, but I was really nervous because we have done so many other things to try to be healthy and none of them seem to work for me.  I just didn't want to go up too much.  I just wanted to stay under 260 before I start to lose, in theory.  My weight today was 253.4!!  :)

With Dan and I working together, we both made actual progress!  We are gonna be sexy someday!  ;)  This next two weeks will be quite a test as we are pretty much out of money for any more veggies for the rest of the month, but we'll work something out.  I still can't believe that I actually lost weight and got stronger.  And I think my clothes might actually be a tad bit looser.  :)  YAY, US!

The Wisdom of Solomon (Letting Go Part 4)

This was written in the fall of 2007.  I just found it on an old online journal today.  I was struggling to cope with the idea of losing Ash when she moved to live with her biological mom.  Now, four years later, I'm struggling with many of the same feelings all over again as Melissa is keeping us from our visits. 

With everything going on lately, I have been in pretty close contact with my extended family. Before we finalized our decision to let Ash go, we talked to everyone we could think of. We talked to the school counselor, the teachers, Momma and Daddy, Dan's mom, my sisters, my brother and close friends. We were desperate to find a better path. My folks said that they had wondered themselves if it wouldn't be better to let Ash go, but they didn't want to suggest that to us as it was not their decision to make. The school counselor was very supportive and offered suggestions on how to help the kids handle the change. The teachers we also supportive and assured me that they will keep a close eye on the kids to see if there are any issues we need to address. Ashlynn's teacher was very disappointed that Ash will be leaving. I was worried that my youngest sister would be upset with me because she has been trying for several years to have a baby but it hasn't worked out. She was also understanding. The only person who was not understanding was Dan's dad. But he has made very little attempt to connect with our family until recently and so I don't think he understands the situation. He and I have had our go-rounds and I don't bother with him much. He never seems to support Dan in anything he does. He told Dan he was not supporting his family when the kids were little and he was the one staying home because I made more money. He didn't attend our wedding and he doesn't treat either of the sons Dan has chosen to raise as grandkids. He constantly harasses Dan because he doesn't have a son to carry on the family name, but about the time Dan and I got married, his dad wanted to change his last name anyway. I have given up trying to understand him, I just wish he could support Dan because I know he is never happy when the phone calls end. We are so lucky that his mom and my family are supportive. They realize that this was not the easy decision for us, but the one we felt was best. Even after all of the phone calls and all of the moral support, I felt the best after I talked to my sister, Jesi. When I talked to Jesi, I told her that I felt like we were tearing Ash apart. Jesi reminded me of a story about Solomon that really reassured me and gave me confidence that we were on the right path.

Dan wrote this poem about our struggles.

From us she took, through

Biological warfare,

Our innocent child.

Our dearest loved one.

Lost but never forgotten.

The courts have failed us.

I have seen smiles fade,

And tempers flare in anger,

Why did she take her?

We have asked ourselves why Melissa would take our little girl so many times, but we know the answer. We have never tried to keep her from Melissa, but we have tried to provide stability which Melissa has worked to undermine even when she wasn't ready to raise a child. In "The Success Principles" by Jack Canfield, there is a quote, that I can't find again as the book is back with the library, that suggests that we all do our best. It says that everyone is doing the best they can with the knowledge and tools they have available to them at any given time. While I completely disagree with Melissa's methods, I can't expect her to do more than her best. I'm sure that in her eyes she is doing what is best. We can only pray that it will be good enough.

Fall Out (Letting Go Part 3)

This was written in the fall of 2007.  I just found it on an old online journal today.  I was struggling to cope with the idea of losing Ash when she moved to live with her biological mom.  Now, four years later, I'm struggling with many of the same feelings all over again as Melissa is keeping us from our visits. 

Dan and I went to court on November 5^th. The judge gave us a week to prepare a list of witnesses and documents for his ex wife’s attorney, and he gave us 30 days to find an attorney of our own. Even allowing all of this, the hearing was still scheduled for December 13^th so that Ashlynn could be moved over Christmas break if we lost. Merry Christmas for them. Not such a merry Christmas for us. I spent the rest of the week gathering the documents we needed and trying to contact attorneys in Hays. Unfortunately, in such a small town, everyone kept referring us back to the firm that she was working with. Again, not very reassuring for us.

If you have ever dealt with attorneys much, you learn very quickly that they are the hardest people on the planet to actually get in touch with. I used to have a job that consisted primarily of contacting attorneys and connecting them up with potential clients. I got to be pretty good at it, knowing what attorneys in what areas of the state would handle what types of cases, etc. But I also got pretty good at knowing who I could expect to hear back from and who I could forget about if I had to leave a message. I wasn’t too surprised to speak with one attorney, set a phone conference in a two weeks with another and I still haven’t heard back from the third attorney I tried to contact. Our plan was to try to get a change of venue, and from there we could get legal assistance closer to home.

We started discussing the options that we would have if we couldn’t find an attorney, and what our odds actually were of keeping our daughter. One day, I asked Dan if it would be better for Ash if we just gave up now, before court. That would keep her from the stress of it and we wouldn’t all be going through this year after year until we finally lost. We are in a mommy state, so no matter what we have done for Ash or how little Melissa has done, at some point, we will lose. Dan had already been thinking along those same lines. I think that we were both afraid to say it out loud.

We came to our decision on Tuesday night. It was pretty tentative. We were still looking for anything that might suggest to us that this was the wrong way to go. I think I can kind of understand how Abraham must have felt when God told him to sacrifice his son, Isaac. We kept looking and listening for that ram, but I guess they were out of season. I am finally beginning to feel as if this might not be an actual sacrifice, but I am terrified none the less. I’m not very good at faith. I want to believe that if God has forced this choice upon us, that He is going to protect our little girl. I hope He is going to be looking out for her because I don’t trust Melissa to do it. Maybe that is sacrilegious or maybe I’m just a lousy Christian. Probably a little bit of both. Part of me can’t believe that God’s really looking out for Ashlynn, because if He was, wouldn’t He have helped Melissa realize what she has been doing to Ash for the last five and a half years? Wouldn’t He have helped her to see that she has to put her kids’ needs before her own? Wouldn’t He have shown her that instead of being angry at me for being a mom to Ash, she should be thanking me for being a mom when she wasn’t ready to do it herself? If He wouldn’t do that, how can I trust that he’s going to watch out for Ashie now?

Dan has more faith than I do. He doesn’t have faith in God, exactly. He has faith that the world is inherently good and things will turn out for the best. He doesn’t really have a structured belief in God, but then, not a lot about Dan is structured. If you ask him what he thinks, he will tell you that he doesn’t really think about God. He figures someone is out there, but he doesn’t really seem to care one way or another. It’s all very odd to me. I can’t completely relate to this concept. I believe in God. I believe that he’s there. I’ve always believed that He can work miracles. I think I was one. I think my kids are. But I don’t understand how He decides when to act and when to watch or when to just ignore us all. Is He really helping us? I have a friend who told me once that she believes that God helped us all that He is going to at conception. She felt that by giving us each the talents and family that we were born with, He has provided us with the tools we need for life and we are on our own. Others have told me that God has a path laid out for each of us to take, but that we may never end up where He wants us to be because we have plenty of opportunities to mess it all up and go the wrong way. They tell me that He will guide us back to that path if we are listening and will help us get where we need to be if we ask. But with billions of souls on Earth alone, why would He listen to me? And if the answer to my prayer is that He’s going to let me figure it out on my own so I can be stronger, why should I pray in the first place? And if He’s not listening, am I just going crazy talking to myself?

So, I have had a lot of thoughts playing bumper cars inside my brain, and I don’t think they were all wearing the required safety harnesses. Some of them got a bit carried away and I started to get a little edgy. Dan was apparently experiencing a similar sort of thing and by the Monday after we made our decision, three days before Thanksgiving, we were not getting along so well. Dan’s momma was in town for Payton’s birthday on the 16^th and Dan’s on the 25^th and she took us out to a lovely dinner at Olive Garden. We followed that up by going bowling. Dan and I got into a large and completely ridiculous argument. He followed this up by ignoring my frustrations, which, of course, only added to them. By the time we returned home that night, I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. When he wanted to get all snuggly, I wanted to yell at him. I didn’t yell, but I did point out that ignoring me when I am angry was not going to help the situation. He pointed out that he thought I was being childish to be upset in the first place. We calmly went on for a bit before we got down to the real truth. We weren’t arguing about bowling. DUH! We were just venting our frustrations over the situation. We were both scared that we were making a wrong decision and that day I had finally called Melissa to discuss the decision with her. To her credit, she sounded as if she was excited but trying to stay calm on the phone. She has been extra nice since then, but who is to say whether that is because she is sympathetic to how we are feeling or because she doesn’t want us to change our minds. Anyway, Dan and I really talked about how we were feeling and got back to where we should have been in the first place. I told Dan that I am having a hard enough time dealing with this, I can’t do it without him. I need to be on his side. He told me that he can’t lose me. He said that I am all he has. It still makes me so sad to remember how he said that. He told me that he got on his momma’s nerves because he kept calling her Ericka all day. His best friend since high school, one of the big reasons we moved here in the first place, really hasn’t had much to do with us since we had Olivia. We chat when we run into each other in the parking lot, but that’s about it. I told him that I want to be his best friend, but I don’t want to be his only friend. He doesn’t really have anyone else that he feels like he can talk to. Dan’s mostly weird for a guy. He doesn’t seem to worry about the same kinds of things that most guys I have known think about. But he’s very normal in that he’s not comfortable talking about his emotions with other people. With me, it seems to be ok. He just doesn’t know how to bring things like that up with anyone else. I told him that he should talk to our friend, Max. We have been spending a lot of time with Max and Emily and they both know what is going on. We are going to their church next weekend so we will be spending more time with them. I am hoping that this will make things easier for Dan.

So many people have told me that we are strong and we are great parents to let Ash go. It feels more like we are two drunks leaning on each other to stagger back to the car after last call. The problem with that is, we have three kids in the car with us.

A Beautiful Night (Letting Go Part 2)

This was written in the fall of 2007.  I just found it on an old online journal today.  I was struggling to cope with the idea of losing Ash when she moved to live with her biological mom.  Now, four years later, I'm struggling with many of the same feelings all over again as Melissa is keeping us from our visits. 


Well, it has been an interesting week now. Our internet has been more down than up, so I haven't written as soon as I needed to. Now instead of having two or three articles, it's all pretty much run into one. Hopefully that won't make things too confusing for anyone but me. :)

If you haven't read about our gut-wrenching, heart-breaking decision in Our Little Girl, then this may not seem very relavent to you. I can't really take myself through that experience again at this point, so if you need more background, you'll have to read the article. The short version is that Dan and I have decided to let go of our nine year old daughter so she can live with her biological mother.

Last week, on Tuesday, we broke the news to Payton and Ashlynn. We could have told them a few days earlier, but we wanted to wait until after Payton's birthday weekend was over so we wouldn't spoil his fun and he wouldn't begin to associate his birthday to a negative experience.

So, we rented Guitar Hero III and took the kids out for a pizza buffet for supper. We were trying to make it a fun family night. The only problem was that I had to go close out a show so we didn't want to break the news until after that. Unfortunately, I had talked to the teachers earlier that day to prepare them in advance and my son overheard Ash's teacher telling me she was so sorry. So he wanted to know what the bad news was and I let him know I would tell him later. All in all, the kids, of course, are aware of more than we expect and it was not exactly the fun relaxing evening we were hoping for. After I got back from closing my show, I scooped some ice cream for each of us and we sat down to talk.

In situations like this, I usually do the talking to start with and Dan helps me out when I get stuck. We had already talked about this a lot so he and I were on the same page. I knew this would be hard, I just didn't know how hard.

I explained to the kids that Dan and I had made a really hard decision. I reminded them, as if they needed it, that we were supposed to be going to court soon to fight for custody of Ashlynn. I explained how this was putting a lot of pressure on us as a family and we felt like Ashlynn was being hurt. I told them that it's like we have a hold of Ashlynn's hand and Melissa has a hold of the other one. Then we are all pulling and playing tug of war, and it's hurting Ashlynn. It's not hurting her physically like we are pulling on her, but it's hurting her heart. We explained that we have worked hard to build a stable home for our kids where they can feel safe and like they are where they should be. And we explained how it's hard for Ashlynn to feel like she is where she should be when Melissa is pulling her that way all of the time. And we discussed how much Ashlynn has wanted time and attention from Melissa for the last five years, but now Melissa is finally giving it to her. I asked Payton if he had not had attention from his Daddy like he does, if he thought he would want to move if his Daddy started paying attention to him too. He thought that he might. I almost didn't tell Payton that Ashlynn wants to go live with Melissa, but then I felt that would leave her with a secret that would still make things hard, so I threw that out in the open too. We explained that we don't want to fight and hurt Ashlynn anymore, but Melissa is going to keep dragging us back to court. We let the kids know that if we win this time, we'll have to go back to court again and again and again until we finally lose, because that is how Kansas works. And then I broke the news that Dan and I had decided to let Ashlynn go live with her mom.

I knew it was going to be hard. I thought I was prepared for it. Ashlynn didn't really react right away. I don't think the impact really hit her. She wasn't sure whether to be happy or sad. I thought Payton would be shocked and then I would see the realization dawn on him and he would gradually start to cry. But that's not what happened at all. There was no shock. It was like he had already figured it out and was just waiting for me to confirm his worst fears. There was no hesitation at all before his little 62 pound body started shaking with sobs. I reached out to him from the other end of the couch and he couldn't even move towards me. He looked so lost, and so little, and so all alone. He finally leaned towards me a little and I scooped him into my arms and held him. I kissed his head and petted his hair and cried with him. I didn't really know what to say so I just started talking quietly and softly to try to help him. Ashlynn started to cry at this point too. Not the body racking sobs that Payton was still experiencing, but tears were pouring down her cheeks. Dan snuggled her up very much like I had Payton.

I talked to Payton until he started to respond to me again. I asked if he understood why we had made the decision we made. He nodded his head. But I was not reassured enough by the back of his head so I asked him to look at me. His eyes were so red and he looked so devastated. It was a lot easier to talk to the back of his head but I had to make sure he was going to be ok. I asked him if he thought we did the right thing. He said we had to do it for Ashlynn. But then he said he hated Melissa and that she was a bad person. I told him that he can't hate her. He asked me why not. I explained that this will hurt Ashlynn because Melissa is her mom and Ash loves her. I also let him know how that would hurt him too. I told him that Melissa is not a bad person. She is just doing what she thinks is the right thing to do. I had already told myself that a hundred times, but I guess I wasn't really ready to believe it until I told Payton.

Dan and Ash didn't really say much through this, they mostly just watched Payton and I. Ash said, "I didn't know you loved me that much, Payton." And he said, "I didn't either." It was such a painful process and it's really just started. But it was such a beautiful moment, watching them truly realize and appreciate what they meant to each other. They are too young. I wish we did not have to put them through this, but I know they are both coming out stronger and better for it. We started talking about how we will have all the long weekends now, and spring break every year and that Ash will be here all summer. Soon we were all laughing and having fun again. It seemed as if it had lasted hours but Payton handed me my ice cream and told me I needed to eat it before it melted. It was one of those bizarre time pockets that catch you, I guess.

Then Ash took her turn at Guitar Hero while I cuddled Payton. Then when it was Dan and my turn to play, Ash and Payton cuddled up and giggled like they were at a slumber party. The stress of the unknown was gone. The weight of how to tell the kids and the worry of how they were going to take it had been lifted. The rest of the night felt like a vacation. We tucked the kids in that night with hugs and kisses and smiles. Dan and I wrapped up in each other, knowing that we were doing the right thing, and finally starting to feel that way too.

Our Little Girl (Letting Go Part 1)

This was written in the fall of 2007.  I just found it on an old online journal today.  I was struggling to cope with the idea of losing Ash when she moved to live with her biological mom.  Now, four years later, I'm struggling with many of the same feelings all over again as Melissa is keeping us from our visits.  

It's war. Nobody wins. Everybody loses. So we will surrender. The only way to protect anyone from the horror is to simply give up the fight. Step back. Let go. It is so much easier to fight. But we have to do what is best for Ash and if we keep fighting, she is the one who is damaged the most. She's nine now. And she wants her mommy.

 And no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, no matter what I have been there for and helped her through, I can't be the one who gave birth to her. I have been her every day mom since she was three. I've built two different castle birthday cakes, a princess, a tee pee and a Christmas tree. I've studied spelling words every day of the week for nine months of the last three years. I've spent hours scouring book stores for books that were not only her reading level, but that would catch hold of her imagination. I've taken care of her on the rare instances when she was sick. I stayed home with her for the week that she ran a fever because a full day of school in first grade and a bully at recess intimidated her. I've struggled to help her achieve and celebrate all the little every day successes to build her confidence. In the long run, I hope that all of this matters. I hope that the work we have put into helping her know right from wrong and what it means to be a family will help her become the person she wants to be. I hope that in the long run, we see that we have done the right things and made the right decisions. In the short term, it stinks. In the short term, it doesn't matter what I've done. Nobody cares that she's my sunshine.

Nobody cares what is going to happen to Payton. Or if he's going to hate us for the decision we have made. How do you explain this to a nine year old? And he will officially be nine in another three hours and 24 minutes. He was so angry at me when Saanna left. It was almost a month before we realized that he wasn't just mad at the situation. He was mad at me. He was mad because I let her go. Saanna is my neice. She was 13 when she moved in with us and she lived with us until she was 16. She ran away and we reported her missing. She came home and said she wanted to work things out. Two days later she was gone again. When the cops brought her back, they asked if we wanted her to stay. We told them that we did, but she would have to agree to counseling and if she left again, there would be no more chances. We had our other kids to think of too. She decided to leave. Yes, we let her go. But it was the best thing we could do for our family. We have worked too hard to build stability for our kids to let someone who doesn't want that ruin it for them. Payton and I had a long talk and started things on the right track again. It took a while, but once I got him talking, we were able to work through it.

Saanna was his cousin. She lived with us for three years. Ash is his sister. They have been together for six years. He doesn't remember what life was like before she lived with us. They were in pre-school together. Kindergarten, first grade, second grade, third grade. . . The hearing is set for December 13th, and they want to move her over Christmas break. So we have to come to an agreement before that. Is that enough time to prepare kids for something like that? Or is it too much time?

I am going to call the guidance counselor at the school tomorrow. Maybe she can give us some guidance. How do we break this to them? Ash will be excited, and that will hurt Payton. It will hurt me too, but hell, I'm already hurting more than I realized I could. And I feel like it's self inflicted, but I know it's not. We are going to have to get some kind of family counseling, I think. I don't know if we can do this again. First it was Ash's half brother, Avian. He lived with us for a year and a half before Melissa decided she wanted him back. Then Saanna left. Now Ash. Our record with kids is looking truly pathetic.

We took in Dan's ex wife's son and his little girl. He had raised Avian from the time he was two and he was the only dad Avian had known. He called me mom. The first visit he made to us after Melissa took him (so she could move into HUD housing), he was already calling me Ericka. That hurt. And after a couple more visits, Dan was Dan. Then when Melissa moved back in with the guy who kicked her out, the guy who didn't want to raise someone else's kids - which is how they ended up with us in the first place - she told him that Dee was his dad and Dan's not. She tried to erase 7 years of his life. Dan was the guy who was there for the formative years. She can say that didn't matter, but she can't erase the impact Dan had on him. But what has she done to Avian's sense of stability in the process? We never even get to see him anymore so I have no idea for the most part. But Ash said he punched a kid in basketball practice when they made him mad. And Melissa said he's in counseling because of how mean he is to Ash when she's there. Sounds like he has issues and we have to be crazy to let Ash go . . .

And now we've come around full circle. Obviously we are crazy. After Ash and Avian moved in, my neice was in foster care indefinitely. I hadn't seen her for four years, but she was family. Three months after Saanna moved in, Melissa took Avian with two days notice. She called on Thursday to say that school started on Tuesday so she would pick him up on Saturday. We all worked together to get through that.

Saanna ran away. We clung to each other to deal with that. We survived. We had Olivia. I felt like she was the mortar to cement the bricks of the solid and stable family we had built together. Silly me. We've had five kids. We will soon be back down to two. Should this be telling me something?

I know, in my heart, that we have made the right decision. Do I believe that Melissa is a better parent? Not a chance. Do I believe that Melissa's home is a better environment for Ashlynn to grow up in? Not on your life. Do I believe that this is the only chance to give Ashlynn a semblance of stability? That this will end the tug of war we have been playing, using Ashlynn as the rope? Yes. I do believe that. I pray that in the long run, we will see that we have done the right thing for Ashlynn. I pray that God will watch over our little girl when I can't be there to do it myself. I pray that the attention Ash has been getting from her mom in the last six months is not just a bribe, but a sign of things to come. I pray that Melissa has finally learned to get past her own wants to put Ashlynn's needs first. I pray that the negatives I see are based on my own bias and that they aren't really there. I don't believe all of these things, but I pray for them. I pray. I have been praying a lot. And I pray that God is listening.

Day 299: Working out hard and working late

So, Dan and I got to sleep in this morning.  It was pretty awesome.  However, we still got our metaboost in!  It was pretty intense.  Even as we started it today though, we noticed that we are both stronger and doing better at the exercises than we even were on Monday.  Who would have thought we would see such a fast change?  This really gives me motivation to stick with the program and hope that it will truly help me to be healthier, not to mention thinner!

We had a good day.  Worked on the budget, played some facebook games, hit the track for some walking (one mile in 21 minutes!) and made it to the grocery store.  I did put a kink in my own meal plans today though, when I purchased some asparagus and some coke classic.

My chiropractor discovered, when x-raying my back, that I have gall stones.  They are not painful, just annoying, and I thought the symptoms were just part of having kids and getting older.  He gave me a recipe for disaster, some might say.  He told me that if I blend half a cup of asparagus with just enough olive oil to make a "smoothie," drinking this concoction would force my gall bladder to squeeze all of the stones out.  In the blender, this did not get smooth.  The little hand mixer thing that you can stick down in the glass didn't get it much better.  I ended up eating it with a spoon.  I had added a little onion and garlic and green pepper to try to make it yummy.  It wasn't horrible, but I ate it quickly and don't plan on adding it to my menu any time again soon.  However, that was the easy part.

Keeping in mind that I haven't been drinking soda on a regular basis for over four years, I followed up my not-so-smoothie with six cans of coke classic in the next hour.  My chiro explained that this will elevate the acidity in my blood enough to dissolve the stones so the can go away, thus avoiding the risk of future pain and possible surgery.  Who wouldn't drink a few sodas to avoid pain and surgery??  What I discovered is that drinking six cokes in an hour is about as much fun as drinking a bottle of soda syrup for a prenatal diabetes test.  ICK!

The good news is that my body has been reacting to this mess and I'm pretty sure it's doing what it was intended to do.  The bad news is, after weaning myself down to one or two cups of coffee a week, it seems the caffeine has gotten to me.  More good news, I wrote an article and cover letter for a chance to be published in the KC Star and I got a new page up on my blog!  All in all, a great day, just finally getting tired and oh so ready to hit the hay.

Day 294: Comfortable shoes

Whew!  Dan and I just started a new exercise and nutrition program today!  It's only 84 degrees out but it feels so much hotter after we just walked 1.4 miles in 30 minutes.  This may not be an accomplishment for a lot of people but it's a big deal for me!

Dan signed up for Reshape the Nation with Chris Powell and I'm working it along with him.  There is a new ten-minute starter routine every morning and then a walking plan.  We're eating five times a day with a new suggested menu every day and quite a few options.  We are also learning what menu tweaking is ok and not ok so we can mix it up enough to not get bored with it.  I'm hot, sweaty and disgusting so I'm going to hop in the shower before I fix a third meal for Livi and I.  She doesn't eat all of the same things Dan and I do, but she loves the opportunity for more snacks!

I have officially drunk 1/2 a gallon of water so far.  That's two of my bottles with two left to go.  Yesterday I hit 2.5 bottles so today, I am aiming for three.  A gallon is the ultimate daily goal though.

Dan just found out that he has lost another 7 pounds!  I wish I could lose weight half as fast as he does.  I dropped from 262 to 252 and now I'm back up to 255.  We are going to weigh in every two weeks so I am really hoping that I'll see SOMETHING.

I figure this is my best chance to make some positive changes.  Dan and I are in it together.  I have prayed for God to help me in this quest.  We have a great chiropractor who also has been helping us with various nutrition and exercise questions.  If I don't have everything I need to be successful at getting healthy . . .  well, we'll just figure I've got it and go from there!  :)

Day 287: The dreaded budget

Dan and I have been working through the month of July to set up a budget and track our spending.  We didn't do great, but we kind of did it. Now, using the work we laid out in July, we spent a couple hours in the afternoon and got out August budget knocked out today.  I finished the tweaking of it as soon as I got home from taking Dan to work.

We are not paying the car payment and we're going to call the loan people tomorrow to ask them to repo our car.  Then we're going to call the insurance ladies and cancel our full coverage and then we'll be able to spend that 106.31 on something we can actually use.  We won't have to lose our phones and we should be able to pay all of the bills as well as get the kids enrolled in school.  And then with the adjustments we have made, we should be able to pay Livi's tuition and I'm hoping we can get her back into dance.  That's a big deal for her.  And Aaron always helps with Payton's sports so the long term is looking like there is some real hope for a change.

We even budgeted in paying off one tiny little bill in full and making a small payment on another bill that is long overdue.

We also have a car to drive for a while and we have plans on budgeting our gas so Dan can drive home from work instead of walking in this heat.

This has been an amazing day!  :)