I slept in today until about eight. Then I was up and working on the budget and planning my day. Mostly just payday errands today. I did have an interesting experience at dinner this evening.
Livi and I dropped Dan off at Hometown Games for Friday Night Magic and then we headed to supper. We went to Applebee's where we used to share a salmon and broccoli dinner that we both really enjoyed. They don't have salmon anymore at the Applebee's on Iowa. So, I ordered Livi some $4 macaroni and I had a salad. When we were done eating, Livi started to get up and walk behind me. I turned to stop her when I saw that another little girl from the table across the aisle had come to meet her. I'm guessing this girl was between a year and 18 months. So, I let Livi make a new friend. Livi and her friend danced in the aisle together for a good ten minutes before their food arrived. Livi stood next to her new friend and they shared french fries. Her mom, grandmother and I started talking as if we had known each other for years. I stood there and chatted with complete strangers for a good 20 minutes. It's the kind of thing that either Dan or my Daddy would do but not something I have ever done. I didn't feel uncomfortable or wonder that they might not really want me there. I just let the conversation flow. After I left the restaurant, I felt a little sad that I hadn't thought to get their names. It was such a nice experience for me.
As I have been thinking of my artwork exploring my inner beauty, I was trying to decide what I should use to represent my strong inner core. Should I try to sculpt or draw something that I felt is beautiful? Or should I find an existing work of art to represent beauty in case I can't create what I want? And I finally realized that all I need to represent myself, is me. There is still a beautiful, curly headed monster with a heart the size of the sun inside of me. She's just waiting to be unwrapped so the whole world can see her again. Having come to this realization has already strengthened my confidence. Olivia reminds me all of the time that, "Mommy, you're awesome!" You know, she is a smart girl. She is absolutely right. I AM awesome. :) Many miles from perfect, but pretty darned awesome none the less. I think that this newly rediscovered awesomeness is what made my dinner time friendship possible. I didn't focus only on Livi. I looked up and at the person across the kid from me and opened up. It's like there is a whole new world out there and I'm just getting geared up to explore!
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